Scrolled this while listening to EDM and it’s the funniest shit

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

jjhoser:
There’s a leek in the boat!!!!!!!!!
THE BEST VISUAL PUN

Merrill. Merrill will love this. MERRILL LOOK AT THIS PUN


Peter Dinklage, Jennifer Lawrence & Nicholas Hoult at the 20th Century Fox Presentation during 2013 SDCC (July 20)

perfect bitches.




I bet Obama taught Beyonce that dance.




hahahahahhahaahahahahah

hhahaha

hah

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

this is what I just did when seeing this gif.

(Source: diplosomia)






No but really, I think I could marry her and we’d live a long, happy, funny life together.

Mostly she’d just be funny and I’d giggle uncontrollably at her.

(Source: bennetwilcox)



L
O
L

Excerpt from a completely made up book that Oscar Wilde could have written:

Lord Farthington scoffed, as he did any time dear Dalcott spoke. “You old fool, don’t you know anything. Polite society is indeed impolite. It only stands to reason.”

“Sometimes I think you just prattle on to hear the sound of your own voice,” Dalcott sniffed in reply, causing raucous peals of laughter to elicit from deep in Farthington’s bosom. “I merely called into question the boy’s depth of emotion. He is rather shallow.”

“You say that as though it’s a bad thing. Of course the boy is shallow. He’s beautiful. Beauty by definition is shallow. Only the very ugly care about depth.”

“And what are you proposing?”

“Oh Dalcott, such seriousness does not suit you. It’s unbecoming.”

“According to you I am deeply unbecoming.”

“Only when you ruin afternoon tea with such grave chatter. Come, let’s adjourn to the salon, I hear Lady Hearthworn has taken up drinking again.”

Click here to read the rest on Thought Catalog




animalstalkinginallcaps:

IF THEY DON’T PUT IN A STARBUCKS SOON I’M LITERALLY GOING TO KILL MYSELF.

Still just as funny as it was a week ago. Joshua knows.


(Source: lawyerupasshole)





coloredmondays:

What does a color above remind you of?



I’m going to tell this story because it’s hilarious and embarrassing all at the same time. And Ivan loves it.
When I was a little kid, I had this HUGE case of about 150 Crayons. I liked to organize them by which colors I thought looked best next to each other…and I used to pretend they were in relationships with each other, because I was a weird little girl.
The only couple that stands out to me anymore was Tickle Me Pink and White. For some reason, and I am CONVINCED it was because of The Power Rangers, I thought that Pink and White should be considered boyfriend/girlfriend. They were always in the very front row, smack in the middle. I always made sure they stayed there, with their other couple colored friends all around them.
the end.

thebookofchaos:

Stephen Fry: Can we settle an important question?
JK Rowling: Yes.
Stephen Fry: How do you pronounce your last name?
JK Rowling: It is Row-ling. As in rolling pin.
Stephen Fry: So if any of you hear someone pronounce her name “Rohw-ling”, you have my permission to hit them over the head with — not with Order of the Phoenix, that would be cruel. Something smaller, like a fridge.

HP things always pop up on my dash while I’m in this class. Love it.